


I'll Come Back For You

by SupremeLeaderRen13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 09:59:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14210667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupremeLeaderRen13/pseuds/SupremeLeaderRen13
Summary: After the throne room fight, Rey wakes up and makes a decision.





	I'll Come Back For You

**Author's Note:**

> Was I feeling angsty? Sweet? Melancholy? Actually canon-compliant for once?  
> Maybe a little of everything.   
> May the Force be with you.

Smoke. She smelled smoke.   
Rey coughed and rolled over, wincing as the motion put her cut arm into contact with the debris-strewn floor. Her ears were ringing. Dreamily, she watched a piece of the ceiling float to the floor, its edges crinkled and black where flames had touched it. What had happened to her?   
Ben!  
She was on her feet before consciously making the decision, and she swayed so violently that she staggered and had to grab onto Snoke’s throne for support. Her glance traveled to the floor, where the Supreme Leader’s severed body now lay. Revulsion made her wrinkle her nose. The ringing in her ears wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t think…the fleet!   
Although still slightly off-balance, she managed to get to get to Snoke’s viewport. The resistance ships were slowly descending to the planet’s surface. Whatever had happened, they’d made it. No fire was coming from The Supremacy anymore. But how? Suddenly elated, she glanced towards the turbolift doors. Had Ben come to before her and ordered them to stop the attack?   
No…something felt off. Rey was beginning to understand that the lurch in her step was not caused by injury, but by something deeply wrong with the ship itself. Everything listed to one side. Now on alert, she stepped quietly around the throne.  
Ben Solo lay in a heap on the polished floor, his back to her. For one heart-stopping moment, she was afraid that he was dead. Dropping to her knees, she pressed two fingers to his neck, just as she’d watched people do for years on Jakku when someone finally keeled over from heat exhaustion. Her fear was unfounded—a pulse thrummed there, strong and with purpose, as though daring someone to stop it. This close, she could see how his shoulders rose and fell with long, deep breaths. Not dead, just out cold because…  
Her relief turned to fury in an instant and she shoved herself away from him. She had thought they were done the moment Ben had saved her from Snoke. For a brief second, she’d been afraid that she had misread everything up to that point and that he would kill her. Instead, he’d turned his back to her without fear, as though protecting and trusting her was the most natural thing in the world. Throughout the battle, she could feel the tenuous connection between them ebb and flow, allowing her to take what she needed. Unlike last time, it had been for the benefit of them both. If Ben had noticed her dipping into his talents, it hadn’t shown.  
Rey’s happiness had been paramount when the last guard fell. This was it, the turning of the tides that they so desperately needed. They could save the resistance and she could bring Ben Solo home, her…friend. Someone to help her understand the frightening vastness of the thing inside her. Ben’s face was alight with the same kind of fire, his eyes only for her. Maybe she shouldn’t have turned her back. If only she’d grabbed him, shaken him, smacked him over the head, maybe things wouldn’t have been this way.  
When she’d turned back to Ben, something had changed. The openness that he offered only to her had gone, like curtains closing over his expression. Something shifted in his eyes.  
“It’s time to let old things die.” Another heartbeat, a flutter of hope. And then it was gone. “We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy!” Rough wildness settled on his face, all trace of gentleness erased.   
For a moment, she could see what he saw: a galaxy at their feet, power beyond the imagination, and the intimate sacredness of understanding each other as equals. Power for the overlooked and downtrodden, belonging for the lonely. Yes, it was all there in his head. Kylo lounging on the throne, and her, somehow different, leaning over his shoulder, both of them smiling. No longer a scavenger and Ben Solo, but Rey and Kylo Ren.   
But she didn’t want Kylo Ren, or a crown, or the galaxy. She wanted Ben, the boy who’d listened to her story so intently, as though she were the only thing in his entire world that mattered. The man who stretched out his hand to her and showed her what could be. This wasn’t him.  
“Don’t do this, Ben.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Please don’t go this way.”  
His fury when he realized that she wasn’t going to succumb to his vision was an explosive thing, and she flinched as he’d started to yell. Maybe a tiny piece of Ben remained, because he’d made an effort to return to the tone he was using before.   
The revelation about her parents had hurt, but it was more like rubbing salt in old wounds than a fresh blow. He was right—she had known for quite some time. So long, in fact, that she couldn’t quite put a finger on when she had stopped hoping someone was coming for her. But she’d never lost hope of finding a home. Maybe one day making a family of her own choosing. Ben—Kylo—finished his speech and held out a hand.  
“Please.”  
They were both so lonely. How could she leave this broken boy knowing what Luke had done to him? Maybe she could change his mind, make things better. Kylo’s breathing grew shallower. Rey stretched out her hand…  
…and thought of Finn and Leia and Chewie out there waiting on her. Of the resistance and the First Order’s merciless slaughter of them on their unarmed transports. In her mind’s eye, she saw the obliterated Republic numbers, and Han Solo falling into the abyss. She couldn’t do it.  
At the very last second, she’d shifted her focus from Kylo to the lightsaber still in his gloved hand. To her consternation, it stopped midair, shuddering with the force of her pull. Kylo had his own arm outstretched, his focus absolute. It was horrible. She could feel every bit of his betrayal and hurt and anger as he pulled against her. His fear left an acrid taste in her mouth. His thought process was simple, primal. If she got the lightsaber, she would leave him. He would lose her.   
Her fear had been similar. If he got the lightsaber, she would have to kill him. She would lose him.  
She’d never had to try so hard for something in her life. The Force didn’t seem content to let either side win. And then there had been the explosion, and the blinding flash of light.  
And now she sat over Ben’s unconscious body, thinking. Slowly and with trembling hands, she took his lightsaber from his belt and pointed it at his chest. She had no doubt he would come for the resistance with a vengeance if given the time to wake up. This was going to save them. Her thumb hovered over the button, waiting to engage.  
His head turned and she almost jumped out of her skin, but he remained out, eyelids still. Rey lowered the saber and brushed his sweaty hair out of his face. Her breath left her in one big whoosh. This was Ben Solo, his face devoid of any of its usual bitterness or anger in sleep. He looked younger like this. She ran her fingers over his eyebrows and cheekbones, traced the outline of his lips.  
 _Please._  
She stroked the scar she’d given him, surprised to find a tear under his right eye. Without thinking, she wiped it away. Choking back a sob, she stood and looked around. The pieces of her lightsaber had rolled to the opposite sides of the throne room. It would have been easier to call them to her, but she walked to get them, rubbing her eyes. Once the most likely useless pieces were in her bag, she turned back to Ben.  
Sitting down, she told him everything she couldn’t say. “I can’t stay here with you, Ben. You know I can’t. And I wish that it didn’t have to be this way.” She steadied her voice and continued. “I know you’re in there. But I think you need more time.” The smoke was burning her eyes. She had to go soon. “I’ll try to give you as much of that as I can.”  
His lightsaber was heavy in her hands. Just once more, she felt a pang of anxiety and hovered it over his chest.  
 _You’re nothing._  
Was she doing the right thing for the rebellion? Or for herself?  
 _But not to me._  
Her decision made, Rey clipped the lightsaber back to his side. “There’s still light in you, Ben Solo. And when you find it, I’ll come back for you.” She kissed him on the forehead. “I promise.”


End file.
